My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
