do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
