I wish i was in the wii world.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
