Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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