The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
