I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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