These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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