My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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