I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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