They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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