i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
