just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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