Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
