this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
