who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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