Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize