And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
