I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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