Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
