its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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