check it out our google latitudes are spooning
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize