I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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