soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize