I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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