you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
