I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
