You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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