Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
