how can u be prego again
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
