toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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