i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
