This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
