Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
