So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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