Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
