And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
