she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
