I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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