can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
