If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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