and next time when you feel me up, do it right
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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