Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize