I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
