real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
