It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
