The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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