too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
