fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
