her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize