So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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