Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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