worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
