But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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