i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
