Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
