How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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