well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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